Matthew,
I have been so pleased to see that Tara's website is being constantly
updated. I know all too well how difficult it must be for you to work on
such a project. It would have been very easy, and no one would have thought
less of you, if you had setup the website and then left it alone. I want you
to know how much I respect your efforts. There is nothing more important to
me than to keep Tara's memory alive. She was such an incredible person. I
have, on more than one occasion, seen fellow servicemen go to tears when
they visit the website. None of them even knew her personally. I have been
trying desperately to come up with a good letter about Tara to write for
this site but to no avail. The wounds on my heart are still too fresh. I
struggle every day to continue to wear the mask that we have all come to
wear. The one that smiles and pretends that our lives have not been
shattered into thousands of unrecognizable pieces.

Underneath the pain is far too unbearable to allow anyone but the closest
of friends to see. Tara was my best friend, she always had been. We weren't
like most siblings we loved being together. You couldn't separate us. Tara was
my biggest inspiration, she always believed in me and pushed me to pursue my
dreams. I don't think I would have gotten as far as I have in life without her.
It has been very difficult to continue to pursue my dreams without Tara being
there to cheer me on, but I know that I must fulfill my goals. To not do so
would be a dishonor to her memory. So I will go and put on the mask again and
I will achieve the dreams that we both had for me and I will succeed. The evil
that has torn us to shreds will NOT destroy me.

Every time I fly I think of her. I recently took my first dusk flight. Tara
loved sunsets. As I was flying my plane over the endless open fields of Arkansas,
the sun slowly started to set. Tara used to brag about how big the sky was at our
country home in Lovejoy Georgia. If she could have only of seen this Arkansas sky
from a view of 5,000 feet in the air. Never had I seen such a sunset. The
entire sky seemed ablaze. As my plane gently soared back to the Little Rock
Airport I thought of how far I had come and how proud Tara would be. It was
almost as if I could hear that infectious giggle of hers over the rumble of
that propeller engine. This afternoon when I climb into that cockpit again I
feel sure that Tara will be beside me. 

It seems that I managed to write the letter I was looking for after all.
This of course cannot even come close to explaining how I feel about the loss
of someone who meant so much to me, but at least it's a start.

SSgt Adam G. Baker

Apr 15, 2004