A Letter to the Killer Tara was a beautiful gift to our family. She was kind, she was good, she was fair. She was a delight to be around and a joy to behold. We spent 24 years loving her, nurturing her, guiding her. But you decided to hate her for a few minutes, and ended her life. The pain you have caused goes far beyond that which you inflicted upon Tara. Tara's mother spent 24 years of her life devoting all her resources, time, love and energy into creating the quality person you decided you had the right to murder. For a mother, living through her child's death is the deepest heartbreak on Earth, but to know that your child was senselessly and brutally murdered is more than any person should ever have to bear. The pain she feels from the murder of her beautiful daughter can never be known by anyone else. It is as though you amputated part of her soul. Tara's mother had to learn to walk and talk again. How to breath again. How to show love again to those that remain with her. The rehabilitation will take years and years, and she will never fully heal. Tara was a big sister to three siblings who loved her dearly. Her brother Adam cherished her as a best friend and confidant. He has to live the rest of his life without her. He has to go to work every day, and school, and flight class with a hole in his heart that will never mend. He is doing it all despite the evil you have wrought upon him. Trust me that he hates you. Feel the hate and feel the sorrow because of what you have taken from him. Tara's sister is going to college now. She is in the same sorority, attending similar classes. She has to think about Tara every time she goes to class, studies, attends sorority meetings. When she thinks of Tara, I know she feels inspired to do her best and honor Tara's memory, but I also know she feels sadness and loss. Why can't she call her sister to talk about her college experience, a new friend, how her brothers and family are doing, or call to talk to her sister about anything else at all? Because you killed Tara. They were going to baby-sit each other's children and ask each other for advice. They were going to take tea together on the front porch when the child-rearing was done and age gracefully together. She should have been able to grow old sharing her life with her sister ... can you feel her pain? Tara's little brother Kevin was only eleven when he had to hear the news that his big sister and 'other mother' figure was dead. How can he form relationships with any other females now? For all he knows, anyone he loves will just get murdered and set on fire and be out of his life forever. How will he grow up with this? What scars have you left on his young heart, his young mind? He can't even view a sunset now without crying to himself. Tara adored sunsets. They happen every day. You have terrorized him for the rest of his life. You are evil. I doubt you can live with that. I hope you can't. I hope the guilt makes you confess. Do you have siblings -- brothers and/or sisters? I wonder how you would feel if someone decided that they had the right to mutilate your family by murdering one your own flesh and blood. Would you be able to live with the pain and heartbreak that Tara's family has been dealing with since you shattered their world? Tara's dad worked hard to see that Tara had what she needed. He was so protective of her. Can you imagine how he felt knowing that you killed his little girl? What could he possibly be feeling every day? It was his mission in life to make her safe and happy. He did. She was safe and happy. Did that make you mad? Was the fact that she was happy and well adjusted get under your skin? Were you jealous of her? Did your mom and dad treat you badly, so you felt like you would take it out on a pure and innocent angel? Did it make you feel like a man to kill a little 120 lb. woman? Did you feel joy as you watched the life drain out of her? Did it give you a warm feeling inside to set fire to her pretty room? Did the devil send you a thank you note? Has he got your room ready in hell? Tara had more family you know. She had uncles. She had aunts. She had grandparents. All of us watched her grow and blossom over the years into such a wonderful and bright light in our hearts. From the day she was born, she was loved by all of us. To see her accomplish all the wonderful things she did was amazing. She was one of those people that was just too good to be true. Is that what made you mad? Knowing that never in a million years could you possibly ever be that good? Was it knowing that her life was so valuable to so many people? You just couldn't stand to see a woman who was so far and away your superior in every regard? Tara had friends -- many friends. All of whom loathe what you have done. They were her age. They were her companions. She was one of them, and you killed her. How can they ever feel secure? How can they keep their confidence knowing that evil people like you are walking around free out there and possibly on the prowl for them? They too are smart, not like you. They too are kind, not like you. They too have goals and ambition, not like you. Poor sad little you. You go ahead and try to live with your pathetic self. You will know no peace. No person can do something this evil, this selfish, and ever have any kind of life. You know it. You feel it. Living the big lie every day, trying to act like you are normal, like you are a real person. You're only a worm. No one really likes you; they can't like you, because you can never show them who you really are. You can't ever breath free. You can't ever let your guard down. You can't ever let anybody in and show them your sick, dark, hellbound soul. What does it feel like? I can't imagine. Just remember that one day your life here on Earth will be over, and the heaven Tara is blissfully living in will not be available for the likes of you. Not until you come clean. You are dead in the eyes of heaven. You can pray all you want, but until you confess this crime and accept your punishment for it, your prayers will only go down to the devil. He's delighted with you. You've brought even more pain and despair into the world, and taken out a big chunk of the good. You are his boy, and I'm sure he can't wait to meet you in Hell. In a moment of time, something in that defective brain of yours decided to proceed with an act of sheer brutality and utter contempt. To have a bright, beautiful star like Tara murdered is the most horrific experience her family will hopefully ever go through, and you are responsible. You are responsible for ending Tara's life, for destroying a part of a beautiful and strong family, for bringing grief and fear to the lives of people who were too young to have to deal with such things, and for bringing to an abrupt end all the hopes, dreams, and wonderful things Tara would have brought to the world in her lifetime. You are responsible! If you are truly more than a worm, be responsible for your actions. That is the only way you will ever have any peace. And just remember, if you do get away with this, and no other person ever knows what you have done ...somewhere down the road, here or in the afterlife, you will pay. Maybe not by human hands, but you will get what you deserve!
